richjob: (Random Marvel villian looking like Steve)
Piss a winger off.

And for those who missed it, here's a transcript of Jon Stewart's opening monologue from last night.

No cut for you!

"The root question is in the four years since 9/11, you have to ask yourself - has the government's advancements, proceedures, etc., made us safer, given us more comfort that they will have an effective or more effective response to catastrophic events? And I think it's very clear that the answer is "Oh shit, we're in trouble."

Now... for people who are saying "well stop pointing fingers at the President, the left wing media is being too hard on..." No. Shut up. No. This is inarguably... inarguably a failure of leadership from the top of the federal government. Now, now, this is... remember when Bill Clinton - I don't know if you remember this - when Bill Clinton went out with Monica Lewinsky, that was inarguably a failure of judgment at the top. Democrats had to come out and risk losing credibility if they did not condemn Bill Clinton for this behavior. I believe Republicans are in the same position right now, and I will say this - hurricane Katrina is George Bush's Monica Lewinsky. One difference, and I'll say this - the only difference is this... that tens of thousands of people weren't stranded in Monica Lewinsky's vagina. That is the only difference. Although, and here's an interesting point... her vagina at the time was also known as "The Superdome." Very few people knew that. Do you prefer "the big easy"?

But that is my point. So please, stop with the "well people are carping on the thing," he didn't even stop his vacation. For three days. I mean please, just shut up. And the news media, normally you know I have much to say about the news media, I have to tell ya, the news media's spine, their emotional coverage, their bravery, I thought that those things were vestigal. Things that were from a past that, you know, the mic was just there for no reason. It reminded me, I used to work at a bar, I was telling the audience, called "The Bottom Half" in New Jersey. There was a fat guy there who was an alcoholic and he just sat there, drinking and being fat. And one day, someone tried to break into his car in the parking lot, and we told him, and he got up and ran out there and he beat two people with a tire iron. And I remember thinking "holy shit, that guy can move!" I had no idea he could move. That's how I feel about the media. They are to be commended."


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